Dad!

 DECEMBER 2nd

That is a really tough day for me. Followed by Fathers Day and June 20th. Why are these days so hard. They all remind me of my Dad.

Fathers Day because he is my Dad, June 20th The day he was born and December 2nd the Day we lost him in 1988.

My Dad was an amazing man. It's hard to just say one thing that I love about my Dad. For those of you who new him, you truly understand what I mean.

My Dad always knew how to make you smile. He was fair and honest, and loved everyone, and was loved by everyone. He was tough when he needed to be but you always knew he loved you. He was strong, kind, and touched the lives of all those around him.

 He had just the right amount of smarts mixed with a little bit of smart ass. LOL!! And man could he cook!!! He always knew how to make me feel better when I was sad, he made me believe that I could do anything I set my mind too, even keep up with my 5 older brothers.

 He taught me values about family and friends and how to be a person to be proud of. I miss him more and more every year. you would think that with time it would get easier, but it doesn't. It just seems like that space where only a fathers love can fill just grows larger and larger.

So I will get through today just like I do every year at this time. By crying, remembering, and missing the one man in my life that loved my so unconditionally that I knew I could ALWAYS be myself, and speak my mind and NEVER had to worry about seeing a look of disappointment in his eye. I was and will always be Daddy's little Girl..his Angel of Hope!

I miss you Dad!!!

  

Family

Hmmm...Topic of the Day?? I don't know let me go to my handy dandy magazine & pick a random page and see what I can put my finger on.

DRUM ROLL Please!!!!  The word is...FAMILY!!!!

Wow, that's a great topic because I never seem to talk about my family enough. After all I wouldn't have any motivation without them. I post on health and running and my odd crazy thoughts but truth of the matter is that without my amazing family I would have nothing. My rock & Inspiration. Their love and support are the cornerstone of all that I do.

God is my top support. My family though make up the remaining tent poles of my crazy circus of a life.






Mike

My first born! The first little gift & my comfort pole. He watches out for me from a far. He is so loving and supportive and Strong. He is always there for me with a strong shoulder if mom ever needs one. He is 21 now which really makes me feel old. He is now a man of his own. I am so very proud of the man that he has become. I know that he will make some women proud someday. Funny how I can picture him with a wife, but still find it odd to watch him while he watched football with a beer in his hand. lol

He like to cook, and I might say he is pretty good at it too. Just don't ask him to make something that he has to follow directions on.; he is much better when you just let him create his own amazing dishes. He took culinary in High school and then went on the culinary after that. I think he wants to go back to school and get more into the restaurant and hospitality management end of things now. He could do it too. He has a knack for it.

Dawn-Marie

My mirror image. She was a surprise from the start. **background on that: She was supposed to have been a boy. Dr. told me right up to delivery that it was a boy. All ultra sounds said BOY! Then surprise of all surprises out pops this amazing beautiful bright eyed little girl*

Now when I say she is my mirror image I mean in more ways than one. She does seem to look like me, at least that is what everyone always tells us. besides the outward looks, she is me all the way around. Strong willed stubborn, intelligent, kind hearted and determined. She has all my traits good and bad. I think that partly came from the incredibly close bond that we shared as she was growing up. She was my right hand my partner in crime. She my Rory to me her Lorelei (Gilmore bond). The down side to that is as she grew older she also grew more head strong and independent. As history often repeats itself she moved out of the house at 18 just like I did and it wasn't on the best of terms.

We are currently working on rebuilding that bond. We still have a relationship that is what matters most. It's just distant at times and that can be harder sometimes because i really miss the closeness we once shared, and having her there as my best friend and confidant.

I have hope though, because just like with myself and my mom that bond can be rebuilt. She just needs to discover what life is about and realize that sometimes you just have to let go of the anger and pride and make the first move to be the one to say I'm sorry for whatever the misunderstanding was & I would like to just move forward. She is 19 now and entering college after taking a short break. I am fully confident that she will do great things. She has a good head on her shoulders & I know she will be OK.

Tyler!

My baby boy. He's 15 years old and every bit his father. He was my mom's little man. She spoiled him rotten. From the time he was 2 weeks old until we moved here to the Orlando area in 2001 she took care of him while I worked. We even lived with her for a few years so that I could get back on my feet. So, being completely and utterly spoiled by Grandma and being the youngest you can only imagine how he is now. Plus add in the fact that he is now a teenage boy. Oh yeah we have our moments with him. We struggle with him on daily basis when it comes to school work and being respectful, and he can be a little defiant at times. But remember I said he is like his dad. Get ALL that from him.

He did get some of my traits as well. He has a huge heart and is full of kindness. he loves to help others. He is strong willed just like me too. I know once we get through these tough teen years he will be OK. He's still young and learning about life. He is super smart too. honestly of all three of my children he is probably the smartest. He has a high IQ and loves computers and video games, and hope to go into the Air Force one day/ Yeah he will be OK, he will do just fine in life. I love him with all my heart.


MOM!!

Remember I told you wee hit a rough spot when I was younger.  I look back now and I can see that two things contributed to that. ME! and my stubborn independent streak, and the death of my Dad when I was just 18. My Dad was my rock, my everything. I was every aspect of daddy's little girl. The youngest of 7 (one sister, and 5 older brothers) I was his little Angel & man did I eat that up. Life changed for me at that point & I felt things would never be the same. I didn't appreciate my mom at that point I was too consumed with the lose of my Dad.

As I grew older and had kids of my own and faced the many hardships along the way my mom was always there for me. She took me & the kids in when we needed it. She has helped me financially, emotionally. She even came all the way here to take care of me when I had to have surgery. She continues to always be there whenever I need someone. She is an amazing women and I don't think I tell her that enough sometimes. She is where I get my loving heart from.

She raised 7 children of her own & even now she still continues to help all of us when needed. She's there for her children, her Grandchildren, and even her Great Grandchildren. She is every aspect of a MOM.. I love you so very much!

Larry

The last support beam in my life is my fiance Larry. Although the road we have traveled together has been one of rocky paths and so many crossroads. Crossroads where we have not always chosen to take the right paths on. They even lead us down a path that caused us to travel apart for a while. Somehow we landed back together. Even though life is never easy and circumstances seem to get in the way more than they should, I always know that he loves me. He was a gift from God to help see me through. he is kind hearted and stubborn and old fashioned. He loves me with all his heart and all that he has and makes me know it in the little things that he does. For instance every morning he always makes me a cup of coffee. He seems to always know right when I am about to get up and there it is a nice hot cup of coffee waiting for me on the night stand.

We may not always see eye to eye, and he may not always know it but my love for him is forever and as long as he is by my side I feel like I can get through anything.


My Dad had a lot of impact on my life too but I'm gonna save telling you about him for another post.

So that's my family. May not be perfect and we may not always be bubbles and roses, but it's MY family. It's why I breath, why I fight, and why I live.

Till next time...Run for fun, Run for you, Run4life!!


Angi

Update

Wow, it's been a little bit since I've blogged. i don't know where to start. Hmm...I guess I'll start with a health update. i did the radiation Therapy & I am now sort of in a limbo...latest biopsy & blood work show that I am currently Not at a Pre-cancerous state. However my DR. does caution me that it could change at anytime. So i will go back every 2 weeks for the next 2 months and then in Late January, early February we will schedule a date for removal of the tumor.

Like me, you are probably asking Why wait? Why not just get the darn thing out now. Good Question. One that I asked too. the answer I get is always full of technical bull that I have no idea what it means but what it all boils down to is the position of the tumor is in a place that could complicate removal fully. Since it is not growing they want to take a wait and see approach. So as of now I am dealing with the oddest symptoms. It presses on my sinus nerve and tells my brain from time to time that my sinuses need to be cleared (even though they don't) so I end up with post nasal drip which is irritating the back of my throat causing me to cough and at times hack up a lung. Of course all that coughing is making my throat sore and my back and lung hurts from coughing so much. The worst part is that taking anything really doesn't help much because my brain still thinks those sinuses need to drain.

OK so that's the health update!!

Now what about the race world!!??

I completed the Disney Wine & Dine 1/2 Marathon on November 10th with my son. I even PR'd  I finished my first half at Disney in January in about 4:09, and I finished Nike in 4:17 in San Fransisco with all those HILLS. Well, I finished Wine & Dine in 3:49 and it wasn't easy.

I really thought I would do it in 3:30 but I was so exhausted after mile 10 that it became hard to keep up any sort of pace. Those radiation treatments really did zap a lot of my energy and endurance out of me. Overall though it was a great race and an even better weekend.  I am so very proud of my son for doing this with me as well.

What's Next!?!?!

That's a really good question! I'm really not sure. I am taking a break from anything that involves fundraising for a while. I am a little burned out on that right now and to be honest it really has to do with how hard I had to struggle to reach my fundraising goals this time around. As of right now my son is still about $300 short of his fundraising.

I'm not going to let this stop me from running and completing races though. I have a goal for 2013. I will complete at least 1 race a month 5k, 10k, what ever. I already have 2 in January. The Orlando Color Run January 13th and The Base Camp 10K January 18th.

So that's my update as of now.

Till next time

Run for fun, Run for you, Run4Life!

Angi

Angel Snugs ...Team Winging it!!!

OK, so why Angel Snugs...



Sweet ANGEL LILLY

Angel Snugs is were I first learned about and fell in love with Lilly.

See Lilly is the the spokes child for Angel Snugs. I saw her in pictures and post and hoped to get the chance to meet her, but before I could this sweet little Angel lost her battle with cancer.

 I may not have had the privilege of meeting her face to face, yet I feel like I know her, like I have known her. Partly because of my own battles with cancer and that connection you feel with others who have fought the battle, but also through Angi F, and Lilly's mom Melinda.



MELINDA

Talk about one tough lady. Melinda is amazing and a true inspiration. Not just because of having to pick up the shattered pieces everyday and trying to survive through the loss of her child, but in how she has been dealing with it. She has opened herself up to the world, well the facebook world at least.

Melinda is very open about her feelings, her struggles, her joy, and her pain. She has shared her life & Lilly with all that listen. She's honest and tells it like it is, the good and the bad. I believe this not only helps her by allowing her a way to vent and get it off her chest, but I know that it will help someone else out there that may be suffering. Help someone else see that it's pk to feel the way they do.

Melinda is grieving in a way that only she can & no one should ever hold that against her. I applaud her strength & her courage. I can only sit back in awe at her strength and pray that God will always be there to hold her when needed and lift her up during the bad times.

THANK YOU MELINDA!!!!




I am hoping to do more Angle Snugs Events, not only because it a great organization, but because it is a local one. LLS is amazing as well, and I am so thankful for the new passion it has given me, but they are national & receive lots of support from TNT and Donors all over the world. Angel Snugs is smaller and just as great a cause. My dedication and efforts are now for them. Again if you would like to help please donate at http://tinyurl.com/run4lifewithAngi

Wine & DINE...

The race is a 1/2 Marathon on November 10th. It's a night race that starts at about 10pm. I sure hope that it's not too cold...or too hot. Similar to Tower of Terror, again hopefully not as hot and humid as TOT was.

I'm doing this race with my oldest Son MIKE!!!It will be his first 1/2 marathon. I'm so very proud of him for doing this. For helping to raise money for a good cause and for attempting this major event. I am a little nervous for him though because he really hasn't been training the way that he should. Disney races are that that easy because of the minimum pace requirement and I sure hope he makes it OK.

I think he has it in mind that if his old mom can do it than he can too. Only thing is that mom has been training for over a year and has already completed 2 other 1/2 Marathons. lol

WE WILL SEE !!!!

Update

The past few weeks have been a challenge...Dr. Visits..Testing...Blood...Shots...new medications. Not all that fun. I've been feeling excessively tired & still trying to maintain myself at work & keeping up with my family. Unfortunately my friends have fallen to the wayside. I have forgotten to call my best friend back when promised..(which I will do tonight), I haven't talked to anyone other than my family and Dr's and customers at work err.... I am sooo looking forward the my race coming up on the 10th. I really need the distraction. 

Many days I wonder how I can possibly keep all this together. This is only the beginning, in a couple weeks I will do 5 days of Radiation Therapy. Not looking forward to that, then we will schedule the appt to remove the tumor...hopefully the whole thing this time.

My Dr has told me I need to keep moving, even when I feel tired. That the walking I am doing is probably the best thing for me, BUT...in the next breath she says make sure to take it easy when I need to and don't over do it... Hey I'm a runner now what does over do it mean??? lol.. I follow my motto "Run till you can't and walk till you can"

Now that we are on the subject of running, let's talk a little about Wine & Dine and Angel Snugs.

I told you last time that I would fill you in more about Angel Snugs & Team Winging it. This is the organization that was started by my dear friend Angi F. It's local to Florida and is a non-profit organization founded to provide training to youth groups and organizations, senior groups and other volunteers of all demographics on how to design and create "snugs". It's mission is to then donate these "snugs" to medical facilities to comfort children fighting cancer while enduring their lifesaving treatments.

Winging It! is their team endurance training program. And Wine & Dine is their Inaugural event. If you would like to support me in this you can go to  http://tinyurl.com/run4lifewithAngi.   Proceeds will benefit our Angel Snugs program and allow us to provide comfort to more children fighting cancer with our snugs.


Being a new organization they need more help spreading awareness and getting Donations of all sorts including supplies such as yarn, needle looms etc.

To be continued in a few...

My World was Rocked....but its stabilizing again!!

I wasn't going to make this public knowledge, but I decided since I have been open about all that I do in the fundraising world, and Why,  Then This needed to be said. 

Just before I left for San Francisco to embark on the greatest journey of my cancer fighting adventure, I had my usual follow up appointment. It was discovered that the little tiny piece of Tumor that  they were unable to remove has started to grow again. A biopsy was done to rule out if the cancer had returned with the new growth. I asked my Dr to PLEASE not tell me anything about the results until I had returned from San Francisco, one, because there was nothing I could do about it once I was there and two, I wanted to have a good time. (I know sounds selfish)

I didn't tell anyone about this, not my family, my friends, NO ONE! I did enjoy my weekend, but from time to time I have to admit I did slip into this world of concern and a tad bit of depression wondering what the results could be. I don't think anyone really noticed except for Deb...I have a feeling she knew something wasn't quite right and maybe even Robyn too. I just put on my happy face and kept on going. Eventually I had to confide in someone so I told Deb, and Michele a little about it.

Monday came around and I managed to get through most of the day with out a phone call from my doctor. I was feeling pretty confident that it was good news as he did not call. I don't even remember what time it was or even all of what he said when he did call, but I do remember that I was standing in the middle of Boudin bread Factory, and the phone buzzed in my pocket over and over again. I knew where the call was from so I let it go to voicemail..I figured they would leave a message and I would wait till I got home that night to listen to it. NOPE!!! They kept calling...so I answered.

It was THAT call and it was THAT news that I did not want to hear...I pretty much blanked out at this point, all I remember was Tumor growing CANCER returned!!! I didn't want to hear it.. not now.. not again!!! I walked away from everyone..I had to pull myself together and get through the rest of the day. But how.. How do I tell my family, How do I tell my friends..how do I tell myself that life is changing AGAIN in a way I Don't want it to change.

I put on my happy face and made my way back to my friends. The only thing I remember after that is breaking down and telling them a little of what was going on. That group hug from Deb, Robyn and Jessica meant more to me at that point in time than anything. It wouldn't change things and it wouldn't make it go away but it made me feel a little more secure.

The rest of the afternoon and the flight home was a blur. I just put myself in some sort of shell and went through the motions..I wasn't really there. All I kept thinking was how would I tell my family.

Now Before I go any further I have to say that since that day my prognosis has changed a bit and things are not great but they are not as bad as they were made to be by the DR on that first day. Which if he had told me differently then I may not have been so devastated.

When I got home I continued to go through the motions. I didn't even tell my family till Yesterday when i got a more sold result and a bit of better news. Now I am glad I waited to tell them.

After more testing and beginning treatments for the worst case scenario it turns out that YES the tumor is growing again, and it has shifted slightly. As for CANCER (that's such a scary word) report was mis-read... yup mis-read and told to me wrong. The actual results are that the Tumor does show Precancerous activity. This means that YES there is a great potential of cancer coming back, and YES I do need to be very much concerned but at this point the cancer HAS NOT returned. Now if that was what I was told on Monday I would not have put myself, and my friends through almost a weeks worth of pain.

So what next??? Well I will go through a bit of Radiation Therapy as a precaution, and I will continue to monitor the growth pattern and growth speed of the Tumor, and because of the fact that it's a Olfactory groove meningiomas, ( grows along the nerves that run between the brain and the nose)  I may have the possibility of loosing my sense of smell. This will be sad if I do, but it's much better than before, remember, I told you it has moved, well because of that movement it no longer rest on my optic nerve which has contributed to my very bad eye sight and migraines. So now I am in less danger of loosing my eyesight. Which I think I would miss much more than my sense of smell.

It will still be a long hard road, Dr's orders are to reduce stress, eat better and continue to exercise as my energy levels will allow. Well, I tell you this. I started on a journey to RUN4Life and I will continue on that Journey...next up Disney Wine & Dine on November 10th. Raising money with this race for Angel Snugs. What is Angel Snugs you ask... GOOD question it is a non-profit organization founded to provide training to youth groups and organizations, senior groups and other volunteers of all demographics on how to design and create "snugs". It's mission is to then donate these "snugs" to medical facilities to comfort children fighting cancer while enduring their lifesaving treatments.

It was started by my dear friend Angi...Yup not to confuse you but her name is Angi too and spelt the same as mine...So from here on out I'll make sure to address her as Angi F.

I'll tell you more about Angel Snugs Inc. and Team Winging it in my next post. but for now please think about making a donation to my fundraising page at http://www.active.com/donate/winging-it-disney-wd/wingsofluv

Much Luv

Angi

RACE DAY!!! Sunday October 14th 2012

Well folks here it is RACE DAY! 

 

 

The Start Line of the Nike Women's Marathon 2012 a race to benefit
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

 

 Hard to believe that all the hard work in training and raising money has all finally come to this one day, this one moment, this one person ME! Woke up at 5 am today. Had to be in the corrals by 6am for our 7am start. It was so exciting lining up with Deb and Kathy. We could feel the adrenaline flowing through all those women (and Men). Each one of us with a story to tell. Each one here for a different reason. Each one of us united in one thing. To concur the hills of San Francisco and finish The Nike Women's Marathon 2012.



Deb & I in our Corral before the race

Deb & Kathy before the race





Start of the race...PEOPLE as far as you can see and beyond

The race started out slow, because there were just so many people 35,000 people to be exact. Not including all the spectators along the way. The first 5 miles flew by like they were nothing. I even took pictures along the way. It was very foggy so there wasn't a whole lot to see, but None the less I took photos.

 

Just before mile 2





 

Ship docked at the Wharf about mile 3

Along the Wharf

 

 



Before I knew I was just before Mile 5 and the first of many hills to come that would really test my strength, my training, and my will power to finish this race. This was a filler, but the worst was yet to come. 



 

 

 

MILE 6!!!

 

That is a true test of any ones strength. The point were you look at yourself and second guess WHY you did this to yourself. It was the longest steepest soul dragging hill I have ever seen, and All I kept trying to do was put one foot in front of the other. About half way up I remember seeing someone that looked like one of my past coaches..Coach Laura. I've mentioned her before an a few of my past post. Then out of nowhere another coach yells out Ladies "SWING THOSE ARMS".. all of a sudden like out of no where I felt the power to keep going up this hill. Now mind you this was a LONG steady climb for pretty much an entire mile. I had to dig deep and find motivation more than once. When it got hard and thoughts of just stopping and letting the bug pick me up snuck into my head, I remembered WHY I started this journey. I remembered Talia who is at home in the hospital, Jacob, and I kept seeing that beautiful little face of a sweet Angel named LILLY  and felt the encouragement of Christian. They truly did help push me through several times.

 

 

Some photos along the way:

 

Love This sign!!!
 

Sign Along the way lol!!



 

 Just after Mile 10

 

 THE FINISH!!!!!  13.1

 

 

 When I finally reached mile 10 I thought my legs were going to fall off. Not because of the long miles, but those hills really kicked my butt. I started to slow down a lot. I was on track to finish this race in under 4:00 which would have been a PR (personal record) for me. Which considering where I was would have been amazing. My legs had another time in mind. It took all I could give to just keep putting that one foot in front of the other. At mile 11 I wasn't any better. It was so strange though because overall I felt good. I wasn't tired or winded, my mind was in a great place. I felt good! It was my LEGS however that were taking control, and they were saying they had enough!!!! My ankle was selling my calves rock solid and my upper thighs felt like they were on fire. FIRE!! WAIT!!! Fire= Firemen...FIREMEN = Tiffany Necklace. All This = FINISH LINE!!!!  MUST KEEP GOING!!!!

 

At Mile 12.5 I could finally see the finish line, and I knew I was going to make it. This is when my teammate Patrice caught up to me. Thank goodness for her. because even though I knew I was almost there my very sore legs still wanted to go cry in a corner somewhere. She looked at me and said "come on 25 steps fast" and that's what I did ran 25 seconds... then "45 slow" that was all I need to get me to the point where I was ready to RUN across that finish line, and Run I did.

 

I DID IT!!!!!

 

 

Finish line photo

 

 

 

The Fireman Who gave me my Tiffany &Co. Finishers Me

 

 Mile 2 Video

 

 

 

 

MILE 6 Video

 

 





Saturday October 13th 2012 The Adventure Continues

Our stop on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge



So you will be reading this sometime during the week after I get back, but in my world it is Saturday 10/13/12... Woke up today about 6 am San Fran time that is. My body is still on the east coast time of 9am. I couldn't really go back to sleep so I laid in bed looking out the window at the amazing skyline. It's so beautiful here.

My very Early morning view

To start the Day deb and I hit the corner Starbucks ( there is one on just about every corner here). Then headed back over to the Expotique and Macy's for a little make over. We had an Early Inspiration Dinner. It was more like a lunch at noon. I always love the way you feel after the inspiration Dinner. They get you so motivated and it's great to share laughs with your teammates and other participants from around the US.

Part of our Amazing FL team.


 At first I was bummed about the early time for us, but after it proved to be the best because it gave us the rest of today to site see on Day 2 of the Double Decker Bus tour. And we couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.




We took the bus through the city and learned about the history and the many different buildings. We went down to fisherman's wharf to do a little shopping and to hit the Boudin Bread Factory for Dinner. I had Clam Chowder in a Bread Bowl and man was it GOOD!!!

But before that we went on the double decker tour of the Golden Gate Bridge and Sausolito. The views were amazing and the bus tour guide that we had was hilarious. Instead of boring you with all the details here are some photos from along the way.



Fisherman's Wharf

Candy Store that had HUGE candies








Golden Gate Bridge

Trolley car



Myself, Deb & Robyn at Golden Gate Bridge

Alcatraz Island



  

To end the day we were going to hop on a Trolley and go back to the hotel. This proved to be a nightmare because the wait in line was FOREVER!!!!  The Full marathon Team needed to get back first so they took a cab. Let me tell you getting a cab was NO piece of cake either. Deb, Rich and I stayed behind to wait on a trolley. Then Rich decided to put us on a bus. This bus full pretty much full, and just as the doors are about to close Rich decides not to get on. I was in a bit of a shock because Deb and I had NO idea where we were going or where we were supposed to get off at. After about 3 stops or so this women on the bus says to her husband "Dear, there is this strange man that keeps following the bus and stopping when it stops"... I turn to look and there is Rich running along side the bus. I never laughed so hard or felt so relieved. He signaled to get off at the next stop. Our Hero...making sure we get back safe and running the whole way by himself. This man truly amazes me.